10 Things Chicago (continued)

By Tom Jalana
for TJSN.com

Published: December 21, 2010

#6 – Disco Inferno. We tried, so they say, to destroy disco once and for all on July 12th back in 1979 at Comiskey Park. But, based on the rampant “resampling” on rap albums and on dance tracks, it appears we failed. Epically.

#5 – Vote Early, Vote Often. A slogan that rose from the ashes after The Great Chicago Fire of 1871, it has continued to be twisted over the past dozen decades by the likes of the Chicago greats: Cermack, Thompson, Kelly, Richard J Daley, and continues on with the recent generations of political leaders, Vrdolyak, Rostenkowski, and Jesse Jackson Jr.

#4 – Ending Brett Favre’s playing career. Monday night’s beat-down of the Minnesota Vikings was great to see, but the knock-out blow delivered by Chicago Bears rookie defensive end Corey Wootton was the highlight of the evening (Minnesota withstanding). Unfortunately, as long as Favre can put on a pair of Wranglers and is provided unlimited text messages for sexting, something tells us he’s far from completely done.

#3 – Home of the 2016 Olympics. Chicago, in all her glory and financial debt, really did want to host the 2016 Olympics. What’s a few billion dollars in expenses here and there to a city that at any given minute, can lease anything city-owned that we want for the next 99 years? Don’t think we’re serious about our bid? Oprah, the First Lady and POTUS will drop in to lecture you about our seriousness between their lay-over flight to Kazakhstan.

#2 – Authoring the tell-all “How-To Privatize City Contracts” series. Maintaining the paltry 8 miles of the Calumet Skyway? Who needs it. Sell it to Australians and Spanish and let them worry about it. We’ll take the $1.83 billion cash infusion and help plug the gaps in the city’s budget. City parking meters? Rent those too. Who cares if our residents have to deal with the increase in fees. We’re Chicago. Need we say more?

#1 – Removing Rahm Emanuel from Washington. Just when you thought he packed his things and headed off to the Nation’s capital for good, to play Tonto to Obama’s Lone Ranger, Mr “I-still-live-here-even-though-I’ve-been-away-in-Washington-for-the-past-two-years-to-advise-the-President” Emanuel is back in town, kicking the tires in his hopeful bid as successor to Mayor Richard Daley. And just when you thought the rampant corruption was leaving the city, look what the cat dragged in…

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10 Things Chicago Solved for the World | tomjalana.com on Tue, 21st Dec 2010 8:55 am

[...] mayor’s Graffiti Removal program and is now better know in gang terminology as Northerly Island (Continue on…) Share with friends! You know you want [...]

10 Things Chicago (continued)

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